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A Vision

Written by Hillary Meister

I had two visions –

In the first one I'm standing in front of a large window in an old building, the wallpaper is peeling off the walls, the room is dark and musty. My arms are outstretched. I'm naked. I'm singing along to “Sanvean” by Dead Can Dance – anyone could see me if they looked up towards the window. I feel elated and released of whatever was in my head that had been bothering me. I step up onto the sill, the window wide open, the world below, I am many stories high. I look up at the sky and take a step off. As I feel myself rush through the air, my mind is still. All is quiet.

In the other vision - I'm sitting on a long, white tufted couch. I have a large family, kids, teens, older adults. We are happy, we are celebrating something. We are in a beautiful, clean house with many rooms and floors that sits overlooking the ocean. The smell of the sea fills my nostrils and I relish it. The room is decorated in white – white walls and fixtures and white pottery. I'm very old and people are gathering around me. They are comforting and I feel their warmth. This is my family. I think we are celebrating my birthday.

Are these two visions the ends of the road I had a choice to follow? I’ve veered to the left and off to the right, I tried to walk a straight line down the middle. I’ve wandered and wiggled my way around, sometimes going backwards, sometimes upwards, but never in the same direction.

I don’t know which vision will come true – I’m still on that winding road and whether or not a driveway will appear in the place I want it to be is still up to where my feet want to go. I don’t believe there’s a definitive end so no matter which vision takes place it will only lead to another road that will have its dips and turns and will seem to never end.

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